#1- Brecon Witch

Like the mould on the plate in your brother's bedroom; there are some things that psychologically affect you which you can't do much about. Furthermore, history is a series of events tied together by politicians in increasingly small hats. Given both of these timeless truths it should be no surprise that more people have not heard of Brecon Witch. They stood on the parapet of infamy and were swept off by events: the rise of a new, nasty form of urban music. For shame.

Brecon Witch consisted of drumming vocalist Michael "Miguesy" Malone, his brother Jules "Jason" Malone and their old school friend and guitarist Teddy Edwards. They started jamming together as a way to try and escape their humdrum Droitwich existence of concrete, squalor and nearby fields.

The music represented he soaring beauty of the new Wilkinson's on the high street and the folk tales of the Welsh borders. With a lacklustre scream, Miguesy would lead the group into an acoustic breakdown, singing songs from the perspective of a local boy with a girl in the hills. This was actually based on his real life, when he dated Julie Beatrix -who would later have a hit under the pseudonym Spanners McCall-, a Welsh shepherd's daughter with a penchant for mixing IRC and barbiturates. Miguesy tried to embody their broken relationship into words using his limited vocabulary and repetitive, sub-industrial drumming. Teddy would try to follow along but would often find himself noodling to himself and chatting up the ladies on the front row. In his head. Jason was in charge of monitoring the batteries on the stomp boxes.

Their first and only eponymous album sold 7 copies and was a critical and commercial failure. However, somewhere in the music, somewhere deep inside the music, was a recollection of earlier failures and joys. "Limited Train Service" charts the pain of having to change at both Bromsgrove and Cardiff just to get to Merthyr Tydfil. "Front Seat, Back Sweat" looks at the 2 hour round journey Julie's dad had to make to pick him up. "Vee Hick Elle" states how much easier it would be if he had a car. Infact, now we listen to it again, the whole album about the complicated way you have to travel from England to Wales if you don't have a driving license.

In any event, their history was short as the wave of Detroitwich bands took over the scene. This low, pointless art form generally centred on having a Woolworth's bought imitation handgun stuffed into your pants and using their lyrics to sign increasingly resolute blood oaths to the Baldwin family of Bewdley.

Migeusy eventually got a new girlfriend closer to Droitwich and passed his test. Teddy's dad died just in time and he became 3rd Earl Cirencester. Jason is still pressing the ends of 9v batteries to watch the yellow streak grow. The mark Brecon Witch left on popular music was minuscule, but try to remember them the next time you're on the travelator at Manchester Piccadilly. I know I will.