Newsflash! Love Music, Love the NHS

Here at YHNH, we hate our health system being besmirched by the "progressive right" from the former colonies. In the old days, we'd be able to settle this sedition using painfully high taxes, low representation and -if needs be- a spoon-based approach to heart surgery that other empires would consider ill judged.

But no more. Now those upstart Yankee Doodles can make all manner of nonsense up about our healthcare. Recent claims include:

• Doctors operate an "opt-out" system for punching unconscious patients when they enter wards,
• Older people are often left overnight on the A361 near Rose Ash to save space for bureaucrat's empty cardboard boxes,
  
• The giblets that come in Christmas turkeys are from left over cadavers from the Royal Isle of Wight NHS Trust,
  
• Simon Cowell trained as a death panel bureaucrat before giving that up to be on TV,
• Hamsters are frequently left to complete difficult procedures on patients as all the real doctors are happy-slapping frontbench cabinet ministers,
• People called Neil are seen before people called Simon,
• The Ear, Nose and Throat Department have a very clear policy on what they stick up your ear, nose and throat, and it isn't a small camera,
  
• Clement Atlee preferred an insurance based approach to healthcare, but was shouted down by "invested interests" such as poor people and lepers.

We are not going to stand for this filth anymore. Join us at Rhyl this Saturday to protest at gross inaccuracies in the current American reporting of the NHS; we will be protesting by cranking up some amps and dancing like vibrating blueberries. Bands signed up to play include Bypassing Wind, Honey Munster, Hullaballoon, and Frank Bottlebin. Frank may or may not bring his legendary "inflatable pet spider diagram" Alan the Spider.

Be there and be proud of the NHS! Stand up for your right to be treated free at the point of consumption! Don't smoke too close to Alan, he pops really easily!